i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
