I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
