just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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