if you like me you must not know who I am
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
