afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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