I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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