Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
