You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
