Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
