Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
