the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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