i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
