The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
