And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
