he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
