Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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