I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
