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I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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