Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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