FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
