I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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