remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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