ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
