A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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