Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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