Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
