At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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