for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
