Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
