I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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