i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
