Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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