I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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