Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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