Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
