Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
