You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
