Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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