What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
