Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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