Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How does one acquire holy water?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
