I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
