It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Damn victory sex feels great
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
