Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
