you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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