he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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