I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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