..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
