fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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