My first STD was from a foam party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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