i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
