Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You're like the curious george of whores
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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