its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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