I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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