Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
