OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
