no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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