The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
