When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
