Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
