I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
