Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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