ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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