So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize